Attending music festivals should be a disorganised shambolic affairs. Inappropriate clothing, poorly arranged transport and shortages of cash and food and drink etc (not booze though). All this is the norm to fully enjoy the experience and to have something to talk about. This week has seen the Leeds festival which, by the way, had two decent bands on over three whole days. There were designated places where you could catch a coach to the site. Hello! Everybody was dressed the same, particularly the lasses. Hunter wellies (80 quid a chuck) long socks and shorts that showed the crack of your arse. All the lads had 3/4 cut off denims, muppet T shirt's and straw hats. I wanted to inform them that they have been done over by corporate shenanigans and they look like twats. They are paying too much to watch mediocre bands topped up with a few 'stars'. Tickets dont come cheap at £160 quid plus camping and exorbitant food prices. By the frigging way you cant take your own food and drinks in these days. You get frisked by an unqualified meathead who is quite willing to chuck you out if you are found trying to sneak so much as a pasty in. Any road up the point I'm making is that festivals should be fun and should be attended to see music. They have become a badge to wear 'I've been to V festival, Reading, Glastonbury', blah blah blah. I cant even remember most of the bands I've seen at festivals, who I went with or how I got home and thats how it should be.
Having managed up to the ripe old age of 45 with two eyes not only can I not manage with two but in fact require six. I had the old mince pies tested last year and found i needed glasses to read. What a revelation! I could see words and everything and this started me on a new journey. Starting to read again was brilliant I sought out some Stephen King books to see of they still scared the shit out of me. Read the Duma Key, not a single heart beat missed. How sad when I remember age 13 putting The Shining in a box under my bed to stop it attacking me in my sleep. You might laugh but it worked as here I am typing this with only fading eyesight to worry about rather than a meat cleaver scar just under my nose. Anyway I get an annual eye test and I have said on the last two that things over 20 foot away are blurry but the test came out fine. I mentioned it again and guess what..I'm as blind as a bat. So I've got distance specs now and whoooah everything is in HD, its brilliant. So that explains the six eyes bit, glasses for reading and glasses for everything other than reading. Well actually its everything that is further away than a book and greater but not less than 20 feet. Everything else I can deal with. Anyway what I have found are new things to deal with. Cleaning the lenses every 14 seconds. Thinking that there must be lenses where water just slides off. Leaving them in peculiar places; such as the fridge, on the car roof, in the man drawer in the kitchen and on top of the bird table in the garden. Maybe its not my eyes, maybe I'm getting slightly senile after all I am now 46. could this be it, is it the slippery slope into old age and smelling of wee and talcum powder. Pah who cares I've got two strapping kids to look after me. its time to get my own back.
